How could I not write a poem about the 265-pound man they call "Big Sexy?" He's our 43-year-old starting pitcher at the bottom of the rotation, one whose fastball velocity is in the high eighties at best, but who manages to get hitters to clunk groundouts and popouts. But he gives up the occasional home … Continue reading Big Sexy Bartolo, Boring Loss
Mets 7, Phillies 2. A proper home opener trouncing by the deGrominator, a.k.a. Jacob deGrom, the third of four aces to start the season. Young (they're all young) Steven Matz is the last, followed by the elder "Big Sexy" Bartolo Colon to round out the rotation, no pun intended. I guess I'm starting the season with … Continue reading Home Opener: The deGrominator
Mets 2, Royals 0. First win of the season, won by the first Mets home run of the season by second baseman Neil Walker. Starting pitcher Noah Syndergaard, a.k.a. Thor, dominated with a nine-strikeout shutout and was unfazed by close calls and tight jams. But as one announcer called him a "man-child," another responded, "That's … Continue reading First Win
162 games. 162 poems. Get ready for some bad poetry about a good baseball team that is favored to return to the championship.