Home Opener: The deGrominator

Mets 7, Phillies 2. A proper home opener trouncing by the deGrominator, a.k.a. Jacob deGrom, the third of four aces to start the season. Young (they’re all young) Steven Matz is the last, followed by the elder “Big Sexy” Bartolo Colon to round out the rotation, no pun intended.

I guess I’m starting the season with a poetic conjecture of the Mets starting pitching rotation. Here’s one for Jacob deGrom, probably my favorite of the Mets’ aces for his calm-under-pressure demeanor. When he’s up on the mound, the deGrominator is in one business only.

Strikeouts.


 

The deGrominator

 

It’s all in the hair, those brown curly locks

that flutter and whip in the breeze

during each pitch. The t-shirts with the silhouette

of his mane, the reporters asking when

he’ll cut it and he says never. At least not

for now, not while we’re winning.

Thirteen strikeouts later, we’re 1-0

in the division series, a feat only Tom Seaver did

in a postseason game. Eight games later

and this kid is smoking a cigar

while sporting a champagne-soaked t-shirt

on the steps of the dugout in Wrigley Field,

ski goggles on his head, the crowd behind him

chants Thank You Mets! And in the following

spring, after getting hosed in the World Series

the top brass doesn’t want to pay the kid

what he deserves. He refuses to sign,

remembers the champagne and cigars,

asks for the clean million he’s owed

for hurling burners across the plate

that most men alive can’t hit.

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